Take my hand, we're off to NeverNever Land.

24.6.03

The world is composed of rival gangs of hypnotists, each competing for your entranced attention...

fresh from recluse 08:58 [+]

One to a friend, and to myself as well.

All day
Staring at the ceiling
Makin' friends with shadows on my wall
All night
Hearing voices telling me
that I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
and I don't know why

Well I'm not crazy
I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy
I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Me,
talking to myself in public
And dodging glances on the train
And I know
I know they've all been talkin' bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think that there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinkin
Somehow I've lost my mind

I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're takin' me away.

Im having trouble sleeping, was talking to a friend earlier in the day and she told me she was having trouble falling asleep before 3 am recently. You're not the only one... Well i guess this goes out to you... not to mention to myself too. I wonder if she still visits anymore though she used to... hey girl this one's for you hope u see it! Hope u're sleeping well as i type this...

fresh from recluse 16:10 [+]

new order -
1. perfect kiss
2. vanishing point
3. thieves like us
cake -
1. frank sinatra
2. you turn the screws
third eye blind - the background

fresh from recluse 09:09 [+]

If at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again.
You can dust it off and try again, try again.

the reason im awake now at 10 in the morning is not because i have decided to alter my nocturnal sleeping habits, which in any case i have no intention to. the reason is, to put it plainly, i simply haven't slept since 1 pm saturday afternoon. measure for measure bbq went well enough, i had fun. quite proud tt im pretty good at skewing those chicken wings haha, though it aint nothing much to be proud of either. then it was embassy14, i had fun the company was great, cept for a couple of glitches all was fine. plenty of food (bbq) and plenty to drink (beer and bourbon and more to go around) and plenty of company. surely loneliness was absent last night, or was it not? then it was off to newton w kennard, hb, colin, yish, ritz for some good old mee goreng matalembut. then kennard's house w the guys where we played smackdown and fifa until the morning come. lastly, home. where i am right now in front of the comp. this is getting fucking dry im merely narrating what i've done.

for me, it's always depressing to come home from a whole night of staying out. the sun's out when u're abt to go to bed. and i get hit by pangs of guilt when i see ppl leaving their homes at 7 or 8 or 9 or even 10 am to go to work, while i can afford to come home at this hr and sleep, as they go off to earn their keep. u just feel damn bloody useless, like u've lulled yr time away aimlessly while many others are toiling, or rather, I have lulled the time away. well not too sure where im headed with this... never was sure abt anything.

well they played lady as the opening track for the trance segment at embassy. damned. the tune's still stuck fast in my head.

lady, hear me tonight.
cos my feeling is just so right.
as we dance, by the moonlight.
can't u see, u're my delight?
lady, i just feel like,
i won't get u outta my mind.
i feel loved, for the first time.
and i know that it's true i can tell by the look in yr eyes

fresh from recluse 19:26 [+]

Descent

Please come now, I think I'm falling
I'm holding on to all I think is safe
seems I've found the road to nowhere
And I'm trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

fresh from recluse 08:14 [+]

Middle-aged. You'll die from something unexpected,
just when your kids are going to college or
something great is happening. Cause Unknown.


At what age will you die?
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In the event of my Demise
when my heart can beat no more
I Hope I Die For A Principle
or A Belief that I had Lived For
I will die Before My Time
Because I feel the shadow's Depth
so much I wanted to accomplish
before I reached my Death
I have come to grips with the possibility
and wiped the last tear from My eyes
I Loved All who were Positive
In the event of my Demise

fresh from recluse 09:21 [+]

"When was the last time u felt really fucking happy?"

A close friend asked me this today (im quoting him exactly). it sunk in. it suddenly struck me, i can't answer it. just as i tried to recall when it was the last time i " felt really fucking happy", a new topic came up n my friends assumed i wasn't listening. but i was, i did, in fact i heard every single word of that question, and it'd eventually haunt me the entire evening.

yes, i haven't "felt really fucking happy" in a very very long time.

fresh from recluse 09:31 [+]

Weed. Cannabis.
Youre the baby of the drugs,
and thats okay,
because Im sure,
I could do you all day.


Which drug should you be hooked on? [now with pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

fresh from recluse 10:25 [+]